Going to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Married…or Else

So where do we stand on marriage ultimatums?  For me, they’re a big, fat, under-all-circumstances NO! For the life of me, I cannot wrap my mind around why a woman would do this.  The only plus is ridding yourself of a man who has zero intention of making you his wife. But let’s be real:  When a woman issues a marriage ultimatum, she is not looking to run her man off and probably isn’t emotionally prepared for that outcome.  What she really wants is for him to say, “Of course.  You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I don’t know why it took me so long, but thank God you were here to help me see the light.”  Or something like that.


Even if you get the desired response, the fact that there was a need for an ultimatum at all makes it a fail for me.  Think about it:  Assuming the topic has already been openly and honestly discussed (because, I mean, c’mon…), you should know where your man stands on the issue.  If he says wants to get married, he WILL show you.  And if he doesn’t, he will show you that, too.  So if you’ve talked about it and a year or two later you’re still waiting (and he’s not finishing school, paying off loans or anything of that nature), with no behavior to indicate you’re both moving in the same direction, then guess what???   You might get you want you want, but why on Earth you want it that way?  Why would you want to be married, MARRIED to someone you had to strong-arm into it?

I’d personally never be 100% comfortable or confident in my marriage, wondering if my husband was resentful. I’d always be afraid that, in the heat of any argument, it could be thrown in my face that being married is what I wanted.  It’s just not how I would want to walk into marriage.  I think every woman deserves to be asked by a man who KNOWS who and what he wants and needs no pushing or prodding.  If you have to tell him you’re the one, then ummm…you’re probably not. But hey, it’s worked for some, right?  So ladies, would you give your man an ultimatum?  And gentlemen, how you react to getting one?

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